Recently a question was posed by a visitor that is all-too-familiar to me personally: “I’ve read Ekhart Tolle, and other spiritual tomes, I intellectually agree—I “get it”—so how come I keep doing the same stupid things over and over again?”
Now the classic answer to this dilemma is “You obviously haven’t sufficiently committed to dropping your shit!” Or: “You haven’t been willing to undergo the discomfort of changing an unproductive pattern of behavior.” In other words, you’re a lazy worthless piece of crap.
I’ve spent almost forty years developing what I believe to be a profoundly logical way of looking at life; written books and a hundred songs about expanded consciousness—yet every blessed day I act like a flaming asshole in some way or another. The self-damning question is, “If you know so goddamned much, why don’t you LIVE it?
Then the answer hit me, compliments of “We Are ALL Innocent By Reason of Insanity:” When I sufficiently accept the objective fact of my insanity one of two things happen:
I Go On Acting Stupid:
If I act in a way that I intellectually know is insane then it is obvious that my insanity is currently too persuasive for me to oppose it (no matter how much I know it’s “wrong”). This doesn’t mean that at some future point I may be able to resist its siren call: it means that, as I’m now acting crazy, I obviously AM crazy—and therefore innocent by reason of insanity! No self-blame, shame, self-recrimination allowed.
I Stop Acting Stupid:
If I am able to resist acting out a behavior pattern that I intellectually know is insane then it’s obvious that my current psychological state—my ability to objectively see the unproductive nature of the behavior—is sufficient to render it unpersuasive. This doesn’t mean that at some future point I may not again succumb to its siren call: it means, as I’m not acting crazy now, I am not crazy but comparatively SANE in this problematic area. The appropriate reaction to this is gratitude for being psychologically sound enough to not be controlled by an insane behavior pattern. No pride or arrogance or patting ourselves on the back allowed. Simple gratitude is all that’s called for.
When we beat ourselves up for doing what we know we shouldn’t do—or for not doing something we know we should do—we assume a burden of guilt that does nothing to relieve the situation or change the compulsion because it’s based on a complete lie: that we acted (or failed to act) out of free will choice. Feeling guilty is meaningless self-flagellation and does nothing to identify the real culprit—insanity. The old saying, “Well pardon me for breathing!” comes to mind. When we recognize that our unproductive and even life-threatening compulsions are parasitic beliefs successfully posing as objective facts that compel us to do things against our will, then we’ll see that there is never any justification for guilt or shame; there is never any need to ask forgiveness or apologize. We are always innocent by reason of insanity.
The obvious rejoinder is, “Oh you can just claim to be crazy to avoid guilt and thereby never change!” The answer is: If I know a behavior is unproductive and crazy and I continue to do it—even craftily pleading the insanity defense in order to not stop it—then this itself is insanity. Anyone who clings to a painful behavior for any reason whatsoever is insane.
To relieve the useless feelings of remorse and self-recrimination, it is essential that we face that “free-will” is a total myth. We are insane: confusing our subjective opinions with objective facts.
Subjective opinion: One cocktail is OK…this is a special occasion, etc.
Objective fact: I am an alcoholic.
Subjective opinion: That person is a creep.
Objective fact: I do not know that person’s mind and what makes them tick.
CHOOSE ONE:
1. Free will/shame/blame/pride
2. Insanity/compassion/humility
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